2012 NEW YORK CITY MARATHON- MY RACELESS RECAP

The 2012 New York City Marathon is not happening tomorrow.

Many people expressed opinions for and against the race. I respect everyone's opinion and right to form one. I just wish people realized the words they used to express these opinions can hurt. In a time like this, no one needs to inject any more hurt into our cities, towns, and lives that were affected by Hurricane Sandy. We are all in pain.

To be completely honest, I was a little embarrassed about Wednesday's post on Thursday. I lost power during and after the storm but that is all that I lost. I realize that I am insanely lucky compared to so many others.

During my powerless time, I had two amazing friends take me in along with others on the Upper East Side. Everyone knows that New York City apartments are not known for their space. These girls took us all in, gave us their beds, and allowed us to remain charged and in turn connected to out of state loved ones. Not only did they take us in, but they did not kick us out.

I realize that I was incredibly fortunate. I think that in being so fortunate I did not fully grasp the devastation that this storm caused. I got a dose of reality on Thursday. I returned to my neighborhood to grab clothes and check out my apartment after hearing that power would not be restored for days. I used this trip downtown as my route for my final training run. I knew it would be quicker than public transit and I felt there was no better route for my final run than through the streets of NYC that I love so dearly.

I arrived in my neighborhood and felt the dark. Although it was light outside every store front, apartment, and street light was dark. NYPD was stationed at every street corner to direct traffic and National Guard were around town assisting as well. This was alarming and quite frankly depressing. I know that our area is not even "depressed" compared to so many others but seeing my neighborhood that I have lived in since I put my bags down in this city in this light or lack thereof, it saddened my heart.

I returned uptown and my mood was changed for the day. I heard the story of a fellow TFK team mate whose family lives in the Rockaways. She clearly had bigger things to handle this week and was deferring her race entry to 2013. I caught more of the news footage which showed the devastation. When I sat down and took all of this in, I felt sick.

I woke up Friday hoping for a new day with positive energy. I went to the marathon expo to volunteer and had faith that the environment would get me excited again for race day. I handed out bibs to countless runners and wished every single one good luck. I shared in their excitement and nervousness as I met people from around the world.

Not a single person at the expo brought up the thought or the idea of the race being canceled. Bloomberg said it was a go as of Wednesday and we all believed him.

After completing my volunteer shift, I picked up MY bib and race day felt real. Luckily the excitement of the expo filled me with hope and eagerness. I picked up all of my other goodies and stopped in to the Team for Kids table. They set me up with my bus assignment for the day and I treated myself to a tech running shirt of theirs. I adore this organization and its staff. I could not wait to wear their bright and bold singlet on race day.

I returned "home" to the Upper East Side and caught up with the girls working from the makeshift home office. While catching up, one of the girls got a text that the race was canceled. No. This was not true. This was not happening. There must be a mistake.

Within minutes we confirmed that Mayor Bloomberg made the announcement that the 2012 New York City Marathon would NOT happen on Sunday or in 2012 at all. I sat in shock. I called my mom and I sobbed like a child. I watched Mary Wittenberg explain the circumstances live on air and my heart went out to her. I know that she did her very best to make this race happen for the runners but more importantly for the city of New York.

I do not blame Mayor Bloomberg. I do not blame Mary Wittenberg or the NYRR. I don't have anyone to blame. I am just sad.

I know to many of you this was just a race and there is always next year. I know this and I absolutely agree.

I also know that the "devastation" that I felt after hearing that November 4th would not be the day that I ran my first marathon does not even compare to the true devastation that is out there right now. I know this and I absolutely agree more than I can ever explain.

I wanted this race not only for myself and my personal accomplishments but for the city of New York. We are a city known for its strength. I thought the race on Sunday would show the world that New York still stood strong and would recover better than ever. I thought it would show our energy and enthusiasm. However, I found out today that would not have been the case.

Today I heard through the rumor mill that the safety of the runners was in question. The rumors were that people were going to trip, tackle, or throw items at the passing runners. THAT is not my New York City Marathon.

The runners were not the villians in all of this. We were not going to put on our sneakers on Sunday with a lack of understanding or concern for the areas and situation around us. Personally, I wanted to run on Sunday to honor this city and surrounding area. I wanted this for me but more importantly I wanted this for NYC.

Tomorrow I will not be boarding a 6am Team for Kids bus heading to the Starting Line. I will not cross the Verrazano Bridge to "New York, New York". I will not enter Manhattan greeted by thousands of cheering fans on 1st Avenue. I will not complete my first marathon.

However, I will be running Central Park with many other marathon runners. I will be joined by one of my very best friends and I will wear my NYC Marathon shirt proud. I look forward to seeing my fellow runners on East River Drive. I know there is a group meeting at 9am to run the full 26.2 miles in Central Park tomorrow. I applaud each and every one of you. I will not be joining you for the full 26 but I will gladly share in 6.

There is another group of runners running down to the Staten Island Ferry with backpacks full of supplies that they will take into Staten Island and the storm victims. I admire every single marathoner that will be making this journey.

A third group will be wearing their bibs tomorrow and dedicating the day to volunteering instead of running.

After hearing all this, do people still believe that we are really the villains?

I plan to donate time and funds to the people and areas affected by the terrible events of the past week. I truly realize how lucky I am and I want to help. I know that losing a race does not compare to losing homes and loved ones.

We will recover from this as a city and as runners. Let's stop the negativity now.

I will be at the starting line of the 2013 New York City Marathon. Trust me on that one.

I am damn proud of everything that I accomplished since I signed up for this race on June 18th and I am damn proud to be a New Yorker.

Lots of love and laughs!

XOXO
LA